Today I had another great vision therapy session with Dr. Kavner. I was doing a typical exercise: looking at a computer screen while wearing glasses and identifying, which of the four digits looked closer to me. I have been doing this kind of exercises for a couple of years, but today I noticed something new. After an incorrect answer I would ask myself, why I chose this digit, and sometimes I would notice that I have relied on some monocular cues, as opposed to binocular cues. People with improperly developed binocular vision, or with one eye for that matter, rely to some extent on monocular cues, such as shades and background information, in order to judge distances, which object is in front or which, etc. In a normally functioning adult these two systems are fused into one. Today I noticed that I have built some kind of a two-step process: if the binocular cues are strong enough, I use them to judge space. If they are not strong enough, I fall back on using monocular cues.
So now I understand much better, why Dr. Kavner has often said that my kind of perceptual problem is linked to creativity. In the 1970s they --- cutting-edge researchers in developmental optometry, including Dr. Kavner himself --- thought that in order to cure this visual defect, you had to change the whole individual's worldview to make into a more "coherent", more "convergent" one. Later they discovered that it was possible to only change the functioning of the eyes while leaving the rest intact, and this is what he prefers to do, as he tries to not affect the personality of the patient while treating the visual system, and definitely not to suppress any creativity that may be linked to a particular perceptual disorder.
What I have suddenly understood is that this is the ability to simultaneously keep conflicting inputs, without suppressing one or the other.
In visual terms, it means that I can look at two objects and simultaneously perceive two different distances between them: one according to one internal system, and the other according to the other internal system. Now I can even consciously see the difference between those two distances if I choose to, though Dr. Kavner wants me to try to pay less attention to that, so I can allow them to fuse into one sooner. But now I also see that I have a similar skill, or gift, in other areas. I can use prayer, with virtually the same subconscious energy as if God or the Universe were an existing entity for me, as real as this table or that person, and simultaneously reject this existence in another context. When I am designing a computer program, I can ask myself about the benefits of a particular solution, and I simultaneously see its advantages or disadvantages from various points of view, without being pressured to choose a side. In fact, picking a solution and going forward with it can be a challenge for me, as I tend to give almost the same attention to very realistic possibilities and to rare, once-in-a-million possibilities.
East vs. West.
What I now see is that this ability to keep conflicting inputs is also a unique contribution of the Eastern civilization. The mainstream modern Western civilization very much favors the principle of dualism, that statements are either true, or false. Once something seems to be true, there is a subconscious tendency to reject its negation. Conversely, Eastern traditions offer training to directly cultivate the ability to keep the conflicts unresolved. This keeps our choices open, and this keeps us from the unconscious and conscious suffering caused by this yes/no polarity. From Shunryu Suzuki's "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind",
Let me get back to my earlier defense of religion. Traditional societies had people literally believing in the postulates of various religious doctrines, and thus while getting the benefits of a religious worldview --- deeper insight, lack of anxiety and sense of connectedness with other humans --- people also suffered the limitations. However, there is nothing preventing us from having a split; from literally believing and not literally believing at the same time. Of course, this was also part of the earlier religious doctrines: God was Christ, and his father at the same time, as well as the spirit. After life we were going to die, but also to live and/or to get reborn.
It may sound a little confusing (and it is), because the "Western", single-valued approach tries to unify everything into a coherent worldview, yet it leads us to duality, to splitting things into categories.When we are trying to label things as "good" or "bad", coherently, this the space in the mind into two parts, perhaps with some borderline. On the other hand, when we follow the Yin-yang principle and recognize that everything good has seeds of bad in it, and everything bad has seeds of good in it, then we do not unify our immediate perception, but it is unified on a deeper level, as the brain is not reorganized into polarities, but attempts to keep tracks of all sides at the same time.
Categorizing, splitting into polarities is great for automated responses, such as vision, and is also great for immediate survival. Anxiety, fear or immediate danger probably inhibits creativity by reducing this ability to simultaneously attend to conflicting inputs; this is also in line with my earlier post from years ago, "Why relaxation changes habits". This is also related to the general tendency to fall into particular unconscious patterns, especially when something "triggers our shadow" or "wakes up our pain-body", and we react with selfishness, hostility, grasping or aversion, in a way that we've been reacting for decades, as a protagonist in a pre-scripted story, before we can realize what is happening. The ability to keep conflicting inputs may be helpful in this context as well, as allowing us to act differently while staying aware of the stronger existing pattern. I am not so sure about this one, though...
So now I understand much better, why Dr. Kavner has often said that my kind of perceptual problem is linked to creativity. In the 1970s they --- cutting-edge researchers in developmental optometry, including Dr. Kavner himself --- thought that in order to cure this visual defect, you had to change the whole individual's worldview to make into a more "coherent", more "convergent" one. Later they discovered that it was possible to only change the functioning of the eyes while leaving the rest intact, and this is what he prefers to do, as he tries to not affect the personality of the patient while treating the visual system, and definitely not to suppress any creativity that may be linked to a particular perceptual disorder.
What I have suddenly understood is that this is the ability to simultaneously keep conflicting inputs, without suppressing one or the other.
In visual terms, it means that I can look at two objects and simultaneously perceive two different distances between them: one according to one internal system, and the other according to the other internal system. Now I can even consciously see the difference between those two distances if I choose to, though Dr. Kavner wants me to try to pay less attention to that, so I can allow them to fuse into one sooner. But now I also see that I have a similar skill, or gift, in other areas. I can use prayer, with virtually the same subconscious energy as if God or the Universe were an existing entity for me, as real as this table or that person, and simultaneously reject this existence in another context. When I am designing a computer program, I can ask myself about the benefits of a particular solution, and I simultaneously see its advantages or disadvantages from various points of view, without being pressured to choose a side. In fact, picking a solution and going forward with it can be a challenge for me, as I tend to give almost the same attention to very realistic possibilities and to rare, once-in-a-million possibilities.
East vs. West.
What I now see is that this ability to keep conflicting inputs is also a unique contribution of the Eastern civilization. The mainstream modern Western civilization very much favors the principle of dualism, that statements are either true, or false. Once something seems to be true, there is a subconscious tendency to reject its negation. Conversely, Eastern traditions offer training to directly cultivate the ability to keep the conflicts unresolved. This keeps our choices open, and this keeps us from the unconscious and conscious suffering caused by this yes/no polarity. From Shunryu Suzuki's "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind",
Our body and mind are not two and not one. If you think your body and mind are two, that is wrong; if you think that they are one, that is also wrong. Our body and mind are both two and one. We usually think that if something is not one, it is more than one; if it is not singular, it is plural. But in actual experience, our life is not only plural, but also singular. Each one of us is both dependent and independent.
Let me get back to my earlier defense of religion. Traditional societies had people literally believing in the postulates of various religious doctrines, and thus while getting the benefits of a religious worldview --- deeper insight, lack of anxiety and sense of connectedness with other humans --- people also suffered the limitations. However, there is nothing preventing us from having a split; from literally believing and not literally believing at the same time. Of course, this was also part of the earlier religious doctrines: God was Christ, and his father at the same time, as well as the spirit. After life we were going to die, but also to live and/or to get reborn.
It may sound a little confusing (and it is), because the "Western", single-valued approach tries to unify everything into a coherent worldview, yet it leads us to duality, to splitting things into categories.When we are trying to label things as "good" or "bad", coherently, this the space in the mind into two parts, perhaps with some borderline. On the other hand, when we follow the Yin-yang principle and recognize that everything good has seeds of bad in it, and everything bad has seeds of good in it, then we do not unify our immediate perception, but it is unified on a deeper level, as the brain is not reorganized into polarities, but attempts to keep tracks of all sides at the same time.
Categorizing, splitting into polarities is great for automated responses, such as vision, and is also great for immediate survival. Anxiety, fear or immediate danger probably inhibits creativity by reducing this ability to simultaneously attend to conflicting inputs; this is also in line with my earlier post from years ago, "Why relaxation changes habits". This is also related to the general tendency to fall into particular unconscious patterns, especially when something "triggers our shadow" or "wakes up our pain-body", and we react with selfishness, hostility, grasping or aversion, in a way that we've been reacting for decades, as a protagonist in a pre-scripted story, before we can realize what is happening. The ability to keep conflicting inputs may be helpful in this context as well, as allowing us to act differently while staying aware of the stronger existing pattern. I am not so sure about this one, though...
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